However, the deeper into the game I get, the more I notice that things are getting a little weird.
I mean, look at this guy. Not just that, but when you open him in the game, he waggles it at you. Sticky saliva coats its tongue, which causes a tingling sensation when touched. I don't even know if obscenity laws allow me to show you his evolved version, Lickilicky.
Not making these names up.
Which serves as evidence for Weiner's Law, the theorem that when a new technology is introduced, It will take less than a week for dudes to find a way to involve their dicks in it. Its "vines" can regenerate if removed or damaged, making it the 70s bush that no bikini wax can tame.
While it is sleeping, Shellder closes its shell, but leaves its tongue hanging out. Seriously, the people who write these know what they're doing, right?
I've read less erotic fanfic. I have been Gloom.
Incidentally, one of my favorite things to do on a major holiday is read the event-themed on Craigslist Casual Encounters. And this concludes this important work of journalism.
Life is hard, but it's better when you're not alone. Emily McCombs Ian Anderson.
Like, sex weird. But it's not just ol' Blowjob Mouth there. Warning: I am absurd. This entire article is absurdity.
The 7 most sexual pokémon (tell me you don't see it!)
Lickitung Lickitung. Diglett Diglett. Tangela Tangela. This is a kid's show, people.
Shellder Shellder. Gloom Gloom.
Image: author Jigglypuff is a boob. We all know it.
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